Thanksgiving 2011

Clyde Annandale

Our church had the privilege this past Sunday of having an international performer and biblical dramatist Clyde Annandale from Kenesaw, Georgia.  Clyde did a presentation of King David in the morning service that was not only inspirational but humorous as well.  Clyde spent 3 years in Israel doing research for his presentations and he masterfully portrays 52 distinct characters ranging from his well-known one-eyed seaman to Jesus in the Upper Room.  His work has taken him far and wide.  He even performed for the Prime Minister of Israel, Benjamin Netanyahu at the 50th anniversary of the statehood of Israel.  He also portrayed Jesus before the Mayor of Jerusalem and 5000 of his friends in the Jerusalem Convention Center.

Clyde involves the audience in his dramatizations. Here he is pictured with Lawren as Mary Magdalene.










Clyde exhibits a bold zest for life and willingness to share the gift of himself with others. His smile is contagious to everyone around him.










Clyde as he prepares to deliver his second performance of the day .... the greatest sermon ever preached ... the Sermon on the Mount.

A close friend, Joe Rayburn and his wife Lu, seemed to make a real connection with Clyde.  Joe was invited and agreed to return for the Sunday evening performance to play the role of Caiaphas. 

So good to see a church full of people and the praise and worship was awesome !!

Tell Me Everything by Marilyn Meberg

Marilyn Meberg has a master’s degree in counseling psychology.  As a counselor, teacher, mother and wife, she has spent decades helping women gain freedom from their fears, their secrets, and their pasts.

I had never heard Marilyn speak but on the first day of the Women of Faith conference in San Antonio I was looking at the book table and found myself attracted to Marilyn’s book, Tell Me Everything.  My decision to follow my spirit and purchase the book was confirmed after I heard her speak on Saturday afternoon.  I started reading the book on the trip home and couldn’t believe how she seemed to have been “reading my mail”.   I have included here some of the concepts that I found to be of particular interest.

Marilyn described how many people today are living with an unknown and undiagnosed infection that’s silently growing inside them, causing them pain and suffering. Some of these infections are emotional rather than physical and may be in the form of an addiction, or behavior.  It might be an incident that occurred sometime in the past that seems too horrific now to even think about let alone share.  Maybe it’s not even your original secret, but your life is infected by a loved one’s secret that you are desperate to keep secret too.  It’s poison can burple up through the layers of your emotions to cause you to respond in bizarre ways to ordinary events.  These secrets can make you sad and even sick.

Marilyn related the story of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s  book,The Scarlet Letter, where the character Hester Prynne came upon Arthur Dimmesdale walking through the woods seven years after her initial public censure.  The speak for the first time and Hester attempts to assure the minister that his good works and humility had gained him penance.  But Dimmesdale cried out, “Happy are you, Hester, that wear the scarlet letter openly upon your bosom! Mine burns in secret!”  Because Hester’s secret became known, she was not haunted by the fear of public exposure as was Dimmesdale.  But in both cases there was great pain: Hester’s public, Dimmesdale’s private.

The reason it is so hard for us to admit to the secrets hidden in our hearts is that we’re ashamed of them.  But …shame is not what we do, it’s who we perceive ourselves to be.  Shame is a core indictment of our very essence.   Perhaps most helpful to our understanding is that at the very core of shame lives the panicked fear of abandonment and rejection.  If you really knew me and the nature of the stuff that lives in that dark corner of my heart, you’d not only be shocked, but worse yet, you’d be appalled.  If you’re appalled, then I have every reason to assume you will reject me.  If you reject me, I will experience abandonment, which is the most devastating emotional state in which to live.  

One of the greatest driving forces of our nature is to feel connected to other human beings.  To truly experience connection is to experience oneness; without it, we can withdraw into a world of lonely isolation.  When our secrets become too powerful, shame becomes an identity, a state in which we feel different, despairing, and helpless.  The person who has trouble receiving love because she believes that somehow love has to be earned; she has to qualify. 

Simply hearing the words “I love you” sets off  myriad internal responses, such as: “You wouldn’t say that if you really knew me.” “Once you know me you won’t love me because I’m not as good or successful as I may appear.” “I guess I’ll marry you, but you’ll never get very close to me because I’ve got to work very hard so  you’ll continue to think you love me because love is based upon what I do and not who I am.”

Meberg discusses the power of abandonment memories to hide away in the secret recesses of our mind.  We may have completely forgotten a powerful memory, but nevertheless, it may have an unperceived influence on our lives – our behavior, our thoughts, our attitudes. We go about our lives carrying secret , troubling pictures we don’t even know we have – or if we do know we have them, we’d like to throw them away. But since memory doesn’t throw anything away, we try to forget the troublesome  photos. When that happens, the images – the secrets – get pushed down into the unconscious, where the album is protected and safe.

But the fact that those pictures are in the album and that we sometimes receive flashes of them tells us we need to look at them, exclaim over them, and perhaps cry over them.  When we acknowledge the hurt, pain, confusion, or embarrassment they may produce, our next step is to show them to the Father who, incidentally, already sees them, and then to ask His help in processing them. 

Abandonment memories can be harsh and hurtful.  An unperceived buried memory of abandonment may be a “secret” hidden within us that causes us to feel emotional pain we can’t understand – until that memory is brought into the light of God’ healing.  

God intends that His good and perfect creation will be appreciated by us; that it give us pleasure. For many people, the challenge is to keep pleasure in a state of balance. When a pleasure takes control of our lives, problems occur; dark secrets are created.  The portion of the human brain scientists refer to as the “pleasure center” is the part of the brain that reacts enthusiastically to chocolate, pizza, pasta, or any favorite food or activity that provides pleasure.  The pleasure center also loves the concept of “more”. “More” keeps us craving and not satisfied. The result can produce behavior that invokes shame – and causes us to create the dark secrets we hope no one else will discover about us.

The “more” pursuit can produce addictions. There are 2 key neurotransmitters in the brain: endorphins and dopamine, which have much the same molecular structure as morphine.  So when the addictive substance wears off, the newly created receptions need more.  If they don’t get more, the pleasure center is out of balance because more of the addictive substance is needed to produce the same high.  That “more”, if not satisfied, creates cravings. Addiction of any kind serves a crucial function – it distracts from pain.  All addiction is about distracting the user from feeling pain.  That pain may be current or buried deeply beyond conscious knowledge, but pain drives the addiction.  The victim thinks, Those feelings are so overwhelming, threatening, and persistent, I cannot cope with them. 

Counseling is a place to learn why there was a particular vulnerability.  Understanding the source, or the secrets, behind the predisposed condition can give clarity, but it cannot heal.  Only God can heal.

Women of Faith 2011 - San Antonio Texas

This past weekend I had the privilege of attending the Women of Faith conference in San Antonio Texas with a group of women from my area. The music and speakers were top notch and included Amy Grant, Sandi Patty, Lisa Welchel, ( or Blair from Facts of Life) and one of my favorite new singers, Mandisa!  It was my first time to ever attend this conference and I have included here some of the things I learned this past weekend. 

Patsy Clairmont is a recovering agoraphobic and through her humor she provides hope for healing as she shares from her own struggles.

Patsy shared three things we need to learn to say everyday:

Yes – to God and His plan for our lives.
Thank You – to God for everything He provides.
No – to anything that distracts our attention from His purpose.

Life is messy.

People are textured.

God is mysterious.

God designed us to be connected one to another.

Sarcasm is anger which has gone underground and comes up as a clown.

God calls me not to sit as a spectator on my own life.

We can’t afford to not have boundaries on our emotions.  No one needs to hear everything you think is on your mind.  Whining to get what we want or using silence is a learned behavior.  We need to put away childish things and grow up.

Fear hangs out with 3 friends – Anger, Shame and Guilt.

God has designed us with a WILL that is stronger than our EMOTIONS. 

Recognize the power of words when they are placed.  Be an encourager!  Splash joy, and hope, and confidence on others.

Andy Andrews is an internationally known  speaker and author of The Traveler’s Gift, The Final Summit, and The Noticer.  His works have sold millions of copies worldwide.  Both of his parents died when he was 19 and he found himself literally homeless, sleeping under a pier or in someone’s garage.  Then he asked the question that would ultimately affect millions of people. “Is life just a lottery ticket, or are there choices one can make to direct his future?”

In his story about The Butterfly Effect he shares how you can live a life of permanent purpose which begins when you know that everything matters.  Every action matters.  There are generations yet unborn whose very lives will be shifted and shaped by the moves we make and the actions we take today.  And tomorrow,  …. and the next day. 

Some of the ideas that spoke to me through Andy were :

I have been created in order that I might make a difference.

When we invest in ourselves we control the outcome.

Perspective brings calm.

Smarter people in our society have a greater problem with fear.  Smart people get disabled by fear.  Fear is a misuse of the creative imagination that God put in you.  We imagine our way to self-destruction. 

Every GOOD thing that happens in your life happens not because of how you FEEL but because of how you ACT.  Every GREAT things will happen because of how you act when life is not fair.

Andy compared people’s needs to canaries, goldfish, puppies, and kitty cats.  Canary people need quality time. Goldfish need a clean bowl.  Puppies need praise (You’re such a GOOD BOY !!).  Kitty cats need touch.

Brenda Warner  surprised us with her "talent" by doing the splits on stage !!!  She also shared her story of how her child was dropped in the tub at the age of 4 mos. by her husband who later abandoned her for another woman.  Brenda was serving our country as a US Marine and was married with 2 children when she became the victim of infidelity and divorce at the age of 24. She found herself living in a Section 8 apartment on food stamps as a single mom trying to balance nursing school and the challenges of a special needs child.  She lost her parents in a natural disaster at the age of 28.  She has learned the blessings and pressures of fame and fortune being married to an NFL superstar by the age of 30.  Her husband Kurt and their SEVEN children live in Arizona. 

The one concept that Brenda shared that really spoke to me was the idea that you cannot allow your past to define who you are today and it’s never too late to become who you might have been. 

Stuffers by Lesa TerKeurst

Have you ever tried to keep the peace by avoiding confrontation and just stuffing down the issue? I have. And it hurts. It hurts me. It hurts them. And it certainly hurts relationships. Instead of keeping the peace, it actually slowly erodes the relationship.

I stuff because:
· I don’t feel safe enough to confront this person.
· I don’t have the energy or the time to get into a conflict right now.
· I don’t know how to address it
· I don’t want to seem hypersensitive
· I don’t want to get rejected
· I don’t want to lose control
· I don’t want to make things worse so I convince myself I can just let it go

But if I’m completely honest, as a Christian woman, I sometimes stuff because it feelsmore godly to stuff.
I read verses like Proverbs 10:19, “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise,” and I decide to hold back my words. And I plant in my brain, “It’s godly to hold back your words.” And then I reinforce this thinking with other verses like, “Proverbs 15:19, “A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.”

I want to keep the peace. I want to speak the truth in love. I want to be gentle not confrontational.
And these are good things. If I can do this without bitterness forming than great! That’s called healthy processing. But there’s a big difference between healthy processing and stuffing.

Healthy processing is where I think through the issue and diffuse the hurt. Maybe I do this through prayer and studying my Bible. Maybe I do it by talking to a counselor or mentor in my life. Maybe I just give it enough time where I decide it’s not that big of a deal after all. But here’s the key: the end result is the hard feelings dissipate. If they don’t dissipate, they get stuffed.

And that’s where trouble is found.

That’s where barriers are built.

Barriers shut communication down. You determine another person isn’t safe and label them with words like, “Demanding. Irresponsible. Volatile. Selfish. Defensive.” No matter what they do or don’t do, this label is a barrier filter through which everything they do will be processed.

You know the label you’ve placed on them but they don’t.

You just mentally stick it across this person’s name in your brain. The problem is they don’t know it’s there. So every interaction you have with them going forward is confusing.

They know something is wrong but have no clue what it is. Eventually, this relationship will shrivel up and die because it’s been deprived of the life giving necessity of open communication.

Boundaries, as opposed to barriers, provide safe passage ways for communication to flow. It may be tough for some to stay within the boundaries you’ve set but at least there is clarity on what works and what doesn’t.

Some examples of healthy boundaries are:
If you continue being thirty minutes late to events, I will take a separate car.
I need a better work ethic from you in the office, or we’ll have to make some changes.
If you keep spending over our budget, I will cut up the credit cards.
I can’t lend you anymore money until I see you making serious efforts to find a job.
I want to bring the grandkids to see you, but if you just surf the web while we’re there, it’s not worth it to come.

If you won’t stop drinking too much or using drugs, I will take the kids and move out.
The difference between the two is honesty. When we build a barrier with a person it’s either because we’re afraid to be honest, tired of being honest and getting hurt, or feeling like the relationship isn’t worth the hard work honesty sometimes takes.

When we build boundaries we are being brave enough to be honest but wrapping it in a love that keeps the relationship safe for both.

Barriers set relationships in a regressive pattern that leads to destructive isolation.
Boundaries set relationships in a progressive pattern that leads to effective communication.

Codependency

Co-dependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another. It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive. The disorder was first identified about ten years ago as the result of years of studying interpersonal relationships in families of alcoholics. Co-dependent behavior is learned by watching and imitating other family members who display this type of behavior.

How Do Co-dependent People Behave?

Co-dependents have low self-esteem and look for anything outside of themselves to make them feel better. They find it hard to “be themselves.” Some try to feel better through alcohol, drugs or nicotine - and become addicted. Others may develop compulsive behaviors like workaholism, gambling, or indiscriminate sexual activity.

They have good intentions. They try to take care of a person who is experiencing difficulty, but the caretaking becomes compulsive and defeating. Co-dependents often take on a martyr’s role and become “benefactors” to an individual in need. A wife may cover for her alcoholic husband; a mother may make excuses for a truant child; or a father may “pull some strings” to keep his child from suffering the consequences of delinquent behavior.

The problem is that these repeated rescue attempts allow the needy individual to continue on a destructive course and to become even more dependent on the unhealthy caretaking of the “benefactor.” As this reliance increases, the co-dependent develops a sense of reward and satisfaction from “being needed.” When the caretaking becomes compulsive, the co-dependent feels choiceless and helpless in the relationship, but is unable to break away from the cycle of behavior that causes it. Co-dependents view themselves as victims and are attracted to that same weakness in the love and friendship relationships.

Characteristics of Co-dependent People Are:

• An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others
• A tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people they can pity and rescue
• A tendency to do more than their share, all of the time
• A tendency to become hurt when people don’t recognize their efforts
• An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment
• An extreme need for approval and recognition
• A sense of guilt when asserting themselves
• A compelling need to control others
• Lack of trust in self and/or others
• Fear of being abandoned or alone
• Difficulty identifying feelings
• Rigidity/difficulty adjusting to change
• Problems with intimacy/boundaries
• Chronic anger
• Lying/dishonesty
• Poor communications
• Difficulty making decision

For more information go to the following link:
Mental Health America - Article on Codependency

How to Handle "Incomplete People"

Our women's ministry has been preparing for the Living Proof Simulcast with Beth Moore this weekend.  We are very excited and the registration numbers are now over 90 women. 

Today I shared these words with the steering team that have been on my mind and heart this week.

I have been reading an e-book by Lisa TerKeurst called Made to Crave. It's an excellent book and I would highly recommend it. Something I read this week has really stuck with me .... Anytime God is up to something good, Satan is right there to try and destroy it. And many times he will use people to accomplish his purpose.

John 15:9-12 says "As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Now REMAIN (or abide) in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that MY JOY may be in you and that YOUR JOY may be COMPLETE. My command is this: LOVE each other as I have LOVED you."


Ladies, I believe this verse is the key to our success this weekend. In order for us not to let Satan rob us of our the JOY that comes from our FATHER who LOVES us ... we must REMAIN in his love. See he said it 3 times ! That means he wanted to really emphasize the importance of what he is trying to say to us.

Now here is what Lisa had to say about this verse: "We are taught to remain in God's love so that we won't tie our happy (yes, our happy!) to anything but God. So that our joy will be complete. Complete. As in not lacking anything. Complete. As in filled up to the brink with joy no matter if we are wearing our skinny jeans or not. Complete. As in satisfied with a fullness we can't get any other way. ......

Incomplete people are diffcult, demanding, and always in pursuit of that next thing that will surely fill them. Incomplete people think that putting on their skinny jeans will right all their wrongs and fill up all their insecurities. ... Incomplete people are desperate for others to notice them ... The bad news is, we're all incomplete people. The good news is, Jesus loves incomplete people. And he wants us to know we can have complete joy by being secure enough in HIS LOVE to reach out and love other incomplete people."

Incomplete people are complicated and sensitive and messy in their reactions. They have the potential to drain us and make us grumpy. The last thing we went to do when a person throws their incompleteness in our direction is to love them. But what if we dare in that moment to think differently? What if we could be courageous enough to act and react like a COMPLETE person - someone who has HIS JOY in us, sustaining us, and directing us? What if instead of looking at this incomplete person's offense, we cold see the hurt that surely must be behind their messy reaction?

Someone this weekend is going to try and steal your joy and make you feel incomplete as much as they do. Why not ask God to show you right now who needs your words of encouragement? Allow him to reveal that person to you and put them on your heart. Begin even now to pray for that person and to pray for each other as we prepare to minister to the women of Southeast Texas that he leads to us. As they enter the door of our church home, let's put forth our best efforts to help them experience HIS JOY and know what it's like to be COMPLETE in Him. Let's love them as He loves them!

Prayer of Blessing

Oh my Chaddaseh, beautiful flower of my fields of glory. Don't you see how much I love you. I see the writings on your heart and I see the love you have for me, and also the fear you have when it comes to the things I've set aside for you in order to show you my glory

It's ok to not understand, and it's ok to stand back and ask if it is really me speaking. That's why I gave you the free will that you have...so you can come to me, ask me and see the realization of why I love you

Trust me, my Chaddaseh...I am calling you to something so much beyond what you know...a Pastor's Wife is a calling that I've given you, but you know that my anointing goes much deeper

You know that my love for you and trust in what you see and hear and know are much deeper

You may not know it all yet, but that's the fun in it all...

I get to watch as you grow, and learn...like a baby who learns to walk...I am there to grab you as you fall

and to hold you as you cry

As you look in the mirror, you know you see something growing in you...a ministry that is waiting to be birthed

Yes, it's the 9th month of this birthing process and though you aren't quite sure how to take it, I am giving you this special thing to care for

This ministry that only you can understand...that's why I have given it to YOU

I pruned you, Chaddaseh, in the garden of my glory that you would be ready for this

and I know that I made the right choice, because I made all that is good, says the Lord.

On the Passing of Uncle Cecil Comer ....

The following article was written by and is posted with permission from my husband, Jack Comer Jr. ..... 

I had an uncle that passed away last week. He was my dad’s oldest brother and up to this point, was the “oldest living Comer.” He was a very devoted Christian, having served faithfully in several areas at the Bethel Baptist Church in Houston. But what I remembered most about Uncle Cecil, is that he was a POW during WWII. In fact, he was imprisoned at one of the most notorious German prison camps, Stalag 17.

Now my uncle didn’t talk much about his days as a POW, but I remember as a teen reading the letters that he sent to my grandparents. Most of them had information that was cut out, so you would be reading a letter that had several holes in it. One of the comments that I remember was how Cecil looked forward to the Red Cross packages that were sent. These packages included items like canned tuna, cheese, dehydrated milk, cigarettes, chocolate, liver paste and raisins. Now they were suppose to be receiving these packages every week, but according to sources the enemy would take these care packages and use them for themselves.

I share this story to you because I think it illustrates what is happening today. People today are in a prison. There is so much hopelessness and despair. And it is only through the red blood-stained cross that freedom can be found. As Christians we are the ones that are delivering a message of hope. But often the enemy steals the message before it even arrives. So we need to keep sending the message. Keep preaching the gospel. Keep ministering to people in need. Keep offering Christ to a dying world. With the understanding that one day, it will make a significant difference in one’s life.

Thanks uncle C. for serving our country! You and others like you, are already missed.

It is the Cry of My Heart

A Cure for Jealousy by Lysa TerKeurst

“Wow… look at her marriage.  They seem to have it so together.”
“She eats whatever she wants and never gains an ounce.  Must be nice.”
“Her outfits always look so snappy while I have a serious case of the frump.”
“I wish I had her job- her smarts- her income. Sigh.”

Whenever I get an overly idyllic view of someone else’s circumstances, I often remind myself out loud, “I am not equipped to handle what they have—both good and bad.”

When I want the good things someone has, I must realize that I’m also asking for the bad that comes along with it. It’s always a package deal. And usually if I just give a situation enough time to unfold, I thank God I didn’t get someone else’s package.

One of the first times I came to understand this truth was in middle school when I met a beautiful girl at the children’s theater in my town. We were both budding child actors cast in a Christmas play. During rehearsals I remember feeling envious that her long dancer’s legs could move in ways my stubby limbs never would. Her legs were muscular and lean and graceful; mine couldn’t be described with any of those adjectives.

One day she felt an unusual pain in her left leg. A doctor’s appointment turned into a battery of tests that turned into a hospital stay that turned into a diagnosis. Cancer. A surgery to remove a tumor turned into an amputation turned into a complete life change. Her world became filled with words no child should ever have to know: chemotherapy, prosthetics, hair loss, and walking canes.

As a young girl I was stunned by the whole thing. Especially because I clearly remember night after night watching her glide across stage and asking God for legs exactly like hers.

Of course not every situation is as dramatic as this one.  But, it’s a good life lesson.

I have learned that I am not equipped to handle what others have—both good and bad. I am, on the other hand, completely equipped to handle what I’ve been given.  And the more time I spend being thankful for my life, the less I look around wishing for something else.

Prayer for a Friend

I prayed today for my friend who was recently diagnosed with cancer and is facing surgery tomorrow.  I am posting it here as an expression of faith, agreeing with my friend and with our Father for healing and restoration in his life.

Father, I pray for my friend tonight ...... i pray you give him peace and comfort ......and a good night's rest ....... wrap your arms around him where i can't ...... Lord u know his every need...... and we know that you r in control of all things ..... We praise you father for your goodness in our lives ...... i pray ur hand of protection be upon him ......and guidance for the drs and nurses who wait by his side ...... Lord throughout the days ahead ..... provide your peace .....and Lord ......we ask that your will be done .....but please please

...... do a miracle in his body ......bring healing that can only be explained by you Lord ..... and complete restoration of his health .....so that he can live a long life of service to you Father ..... we pray all these things ..... in ur precious name .... Amen

Bargaining With God

Bargaining with God from Davis Street on Vimeo.

This mother's day ....

..... be thankful for your mother if she is living. My mom passed away suddenly when i was 25 yrs old and my dear mother-in-law took her place for the next almost 30 yrs. My mother-in-law was a great example of the Proverbs 31 woman.

My sister-in-law has been in my life for over 40 years now and has been there for me through thick and thin. I could not love her more if she was my own sister or mother and she has been a great example to me of sacrifical love for her family and for the Lord.

I am also very thankful for and proud of my two daughters-in-law who are both wonderful mothers and have blessed me with the opportunity to be a grandmother.

So many women over the years have served as spiritual mentors to me and for this I am deeply grateful. One of the closest was a lady by the name of Gay Mize (sister to Paul Robinson) who is now with the Lord. Gay taught me how to care for and train up my children and to love the Word of God.

To all the mothers out there, I wish you a blessed Mother's Day !!! And to all the daughters out there, I pray your life is as blessed as mine has been to be surrounded by godly women.





.