In my opinion, our earliest childhood memories reveal something about us. It’s the memories that last over time, that we hold dear, that shape and mold us into the people we are. Memories of family, friends, experiences, and places … all serve to make up the unique and diverse individuals that we are. 

 One of my earliest and longest lasting memories is spending time at my grandparent’s farm in Missouri. Surrounded by family which included my grandparents, my parents, my brother, my aunt and her two sons, my cousins, Gene and Bob. Gene and Bob were close in age to my brother, and I was a decade younger than the three of them. Being the only granddaughter / niece, and the baby in the family meant that I received extra attention it seemed … in a good way. My brother and I were always especially close, but since we lived in Texas and trips to the grandparent’s farm in Missouri were rare, the time spent with the cousins on our mom’s side was especially memorable. 

Being a small family, and having the same grandparents, seemed to serve as the glue that bonded us as cousins together. It was evident that we loved each other and loved our grandparents even more. 

 I’m sure that being older, my brother and cousin’s memories would be a lot better than mine. But I felt somewhat reflective today since I heard that my cousin Bob was the first of the four cousins to pass from this life to his eternal home. 

 When our dear “granny” passed away. I was 7 years old. My cousin Bob would have been 17 (big age difference). This meant that he had 17 years of life experience with our grandparents. Seeing them often, spending time helping out at the farm. My experiences were very limited … maybe a dozen visits or so. 

 The memories that stood out to me about my cousin Bob (Bobby), first and foremost, was that I always remembered him having a smile. He seemed to have a playful personality and I adored that about him. Our Papaw also had some sheep on his farm and if I recall Bob also had a pet lamb that he raised. Possibly he raised it to show at the state fair in Sedalia.  Oh, and I think he had a horse too!  Was his name Topsy?  Something like that.

 My memories of time spent with cousins at the farm, or attending our granny’s funeral are few in number, but the feelings they evoke within are just as strong as if they had happened yesterday. Memories have a way of touching something deep within us … and when we experience the loss of a family member, no matter if separated by time or space, the memories have a way of flooding back in our minds and causing us to reflect. 

I'm sad to say I haven’t spoken to my dear cousin “Bobby” in years, and that makes me grieve a little more today. I understand he had a difficult journey in life, but I will treasure the memory of knowing him and of having a small part in his life. Rest in peace Bobby... and thank you for the memory of your sweet smile. You were loved and adored by your cousin.

"When I see you again, you'll be full of joy, 

and it will be a joy no one can rob from you."  

~ John 16:22