Thursday, June 4, 2009
The desires of my heart
You know if someone would have told me a year ago that by the fall of 2009 I would be going back to school, I never would have believed it. Today I received my pre-acceptance letter to the Master's program at Lamar University. It has been a dream of mine ever since we moved to Bridge City, to return to school and further my education. About 14 years ago, I was a stay at home mom (for a brief time) and I remember going over to Lamar and talking to someone about going back to school. At the time I was not really sure what I wanted to do, but I remember coming away very discouraged because basically I was told I would have to either get a second Bachelor's degree or take another year's worth of courses before I could move forward toward a Master's. So since I still had 4 kids in school, I gave up the idea, thinking well maybe some day.
Well, now it looks like "some day" is well within my reach. Just goes to show you should never give up pursuing your dreams. In fact, as I reflect on the past year I have seen so many dreams come true in my life. Looking back it is easy to focus on the many losses that I have experienced, but in reality, I have been so blessed beyond imagination.
During the past year, I have lost some very close relationships. In August of last year I lost my job. In September we lost our house to the storm, as well as our church. In January, we totally lost our home to the fire. But when you think about it all from God's perpective, and He always sees the beginning and the end at the same time, then you see how He has made my dreams come true.
First, my relationship with God is closer today than it was a year ago and I have found so many friends I never knew I had. I have made many new friends. We have also had several new families join our church.
He gave me a dream job at Lamar. I am now doing the very thing I always dreamed of doing "when I grew up". Counseling and working with children. Yes, the students I work with are children. Most of them are young and in need of direction and guidance. Many of them didn't have parents that attended or completed college. I actually get to be creative at work, which is something that can only be appreciated when you have been put in a situation where all creativity is stifled.
Of course, then there's my house. Every little girl dreams of one day having her "dream house". One of my friends came over and walked into our new master bedroom and said "Don't you just feel like a princess every time you walk in here?" She knows exactly how it feels, to feel like you have found your dream house. A place you feel comfortable to call home.
I've always dreamed of visiting New York City. I'm going in less than 2 weeks. And what's so amazing about that is, my work is sending me. It's not costing me to go there. Amazing!
And then to have the opportunity to go back to school. Well, again it's another dream come true. I used to have an "agenda". I felt the need to succeed and to get ahead in life. That dream is gone. I no longer feel driven to make my dreams happen. Because now I understand that God knows the desires of my heart and He has a way of making all my dreams come true. Psalm 37:4 says "Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." He knows better than I do what is best for me and in His own time, he will pour out His blessings if I will simply remain faithful and committed to Him.
Ephesians 3:20-21 says "God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us."
Don't stop working in me Lord, and thank you for giving me the desires of my heart.